Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
