I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
they need to just BURY HIM!
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Randomize