SEEEEXXX PLEASE
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
