watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
