shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
