elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
