Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize