porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
why do cheetos always look like penises
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
