the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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