Sry I called you an 8
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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