return my video game
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
