So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
