I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
