I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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