my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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