so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
