I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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