i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
