There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
