quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
