I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
