come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
