normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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