if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
