Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
