To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
