Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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