He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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