i don't plan on having that self control this summer
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
