I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize