Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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