Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Randomize
