Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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