forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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