their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
We need to rekindle our bromance
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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