Fuck appropriateness.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
