please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
