I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
