I have demons in me.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
