Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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