I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
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