I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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