I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
