her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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