i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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