I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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