and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
