Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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