Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
