my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
