Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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