my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
