I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
