STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
