And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
