he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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