remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
