had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize