He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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