no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize