Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
