I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
