a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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