I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
