You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
