Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
