im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
