You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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