If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
