I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
