She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
