can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Randomize
