Do vagina's smell?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
