I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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