it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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