I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He felt like a one man threesome
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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