you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
