he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
