I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
