Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
So apparently I’m into choking now
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