My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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