no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
