I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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