All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize