So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
