Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What a dumb baby whore.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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