No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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