Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
