She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
