I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
