Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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