Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
