Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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